Courage

Finally! I finally went to the school nurse, and now I'm going to talk to her about it. Which is terribly frightening...

For a long time my goal has been to go and talk with the school nurse about the whole sexuality issue and my family and stuff. Half a million times I've said to myself: "This is the day." But nothing ever happened (except that time in June, which didn't lead to anything anyway), summer holiday came and went, and at a sudden my teacher wasn't my teacher anymore. So I couldn't tell her at one of the student/teacher meetings, which is probably the one way I would be able to tell her anything (since I'm such a coward).

Even though, this Tuesday I was thinking it all over once again. So I decided to go for it, and sent a text message to a good friend of mine (who was the only one I could possibly get with me, since I haven't told anyone else) where I asked if she was in for it.

Next day I walked around nervous all morning thinking about when to go. I (believe it or not) tend to not skip classes, but now I had to. So before last class I asked my friend if we could go now, and then we did. Now I'm so glad I didn't try to go alone, because I really couldn't speak. At all...

But now it's OK, and I'm happier than I have been for a long time. Next Wednesday I'm going to talk with her again. I really hope I get words for it all, because I definitely got problems speaking about this. But I think it will get better.

Note: Somehow my writing style has changed dramatically. I don't know how, but it just did. Hopefully I'll be "back to normal" concerning my writing soon. Time will show.