To Write Or Not To Write

I thought about quitting. Maybe I shouldn't sit here in my room in front of the Mac complaining over my life for the whole world. Because to be honest, I'll have to say that the posts are getting more and more depressing and negative. But I'm really not sure...

Over my blog you can see a blue banner made by the Blogspot creators. There are some "Report this" and "Report that" links, and there's a "Next blog" button as well. Curious as I am, I had to push that to check it out. So I ended up at some random blog. And the only thing I could see was children. A lot of them.

I really don't have any specific thoughts on children more than that they're irritating. Way too many people love and adore children, but I don't. Why I have no idea, but that doesn't matter. What matters is that when I pushed "Next blog" again, there where more children. And after that, even more! Pictures of children between the age of zero and eight years spamming the blogs at Blogspot.com.

I'm making you dislike me because I don't really like children. No, but seriously. And what I could see (for as long as I could handle (aka just a couple of seconds)) in these spamming pictures of children way too young to be exposed on the Internet, was that they were all so happy. And there my message got through (I hope).

All that happiness... It did something to me. It made me feel; Look for my feelings. I don't feel that sense of joy and happiness (as if you didn't get that already). Why? I guess that's the reason I talk with a psychologist three to four times a month. But still.

And believe me, I actually read something of what was posted too. All the positive vibes you could read both in and between the lines made me think a second or two. So, I'm considering to end the blog. I'm not deleting it whatsoever, because it's like some sort of evidence (so that if I ever end up doing something wrong, I can blame my psyche and possibly get away with more counseling, and no jail time).

Why am I even writing anymore? At this point I know about two people I know and am friends with that reads my blog. Maybe I'm writing for you, guys? Because verbal communication isn't really my thing. Through this blog I can then better explain what's happening to me, without messing up the words.

Maybe I shouldn't write for you either. Because it's not that fun to read such negative stuff I end up writing. Especially not when you know me, and I'm a friend. Or, at least I believe that's how it is. I can't say how you feel, though. Feelings are made in our own brain, and to understand others' feelings is hard. No, I have no idea.

We'll see. There's no day like tomorrow. My words of wisdom for today.

My Library

I like reading. Actually I tend not to read that many books, even though I really love to. Sometimes it's hard to just sit down and read. Especially when you know there's something else you should do.

For my birthday I got one book, "Princess Diaries vol. 9." I haven't read it yet though, because I haven't read some of the books earlier in the series. So, got that to do. Christmas, in the other hand, brought a lot of fun. I got two other "Princess Diaries"-books that I wanted, two books about Harry Hole by Jo Nesbø, one by Jostein Gaarder and the "Da Vinci Code: Illustrated Edition." Yes, and my mother, believe it or not, was able to order "The Devil's Advocate" and "Holy Blood, Holy Grail" at Amazon.com. So why not tell you about the books?

Princess Diaries vol. 5 by Meg Cabot: None of the "Princess Diaries" books are books I typically read. So... But it is quite fascinating. Even though I have a tendency to psychoanalyze the characters.

Princess Diaries vol. 6 by Meg Cabot: Not read yet, but planning to in the nearest future.

Princess Diaries vol. 9 by Meg Cabot: I haven't read it yet, because I have to read the books before this one, because it's a series.

Nemesis by Jo Nesbø: Not finished yet, but seriously exciting. He writes some of the best books in the world. Dark crime with a quite different main character. Harry Hole is now well known in the land of fiction. Don't miss this book, nor the other ones by Nesbø (www.jonesbo.com)

The Devil's Star by Jo Nesbø: I'm about to start on this book, I just have to finish Nemesis. Actually, I'm as excited as a little girl on Christmas Eve.

The Devil's Advocate by Morris West: Sorry, I haven't read the cover yet. But I think it's good...

Holy Blood, Holy Grail by Michael Baigent, Richard Leigh & Henry Lincoln: This is the book Dan Brown says he based "The Da Vinci Code" on. I'm dying to read it, just have to find the time.

The Da Vinci Code: Illustrated Edition by Dan Brown: I have read the book already, and didn't really understand why I got it for Christmas by Dad. But I do love the book. Illustrated? If you aren't very into the Bible, the paintings and the places it might help you understand the book better. But I think I'll recommend the film after reading the book instead.

Yeah, and I bought a book called "Forbidden Knowledge" by Michael Powell. On the back it says that it's a book about what "[...]not everyone should know." Some of the chapters are "How To Make A Nuclear Bomb," "How To Produce An Orgasm" and "How To Irritate Your Neighbor." I laughed for hours!


And there are a lot of other books I want to read before I die. But the time...
Yes, and I got Dad to sign me up for a subscription for Time Magazine. Whoho!

Feel free to recommend books under the subjects crime, technology thrillers, conspiracy teories and religion.