Feminine Enough

Am I feminine enough? Clearly my mother doesn't think so. In the car yesterday, she started talking about me and my closet. She wants me to dress up in a pink dress every single day, and care about heels. I like pink (as long as it's not overly sweet and candyish), and I, believe it or not, do wear clothes of the color sometimes. Not every single day, but often enough. And heels... I care! Girls in heels are sexy. But it's not necessary to put my feet in some.

I quote, "You should dress more feminine. It's not that you don't have money, right? Because then it's just to ask. But you could definitely take advantage of some heels and a nice dress." Can I call her in for Child Services? Maybe not, but who says something like that to their child?

Seriously, she didn't mind before. And trust me, I haven't changed into a big butch last half a year. No, I've just been me. As honest as I can let myself around my friends and family. But no, I haven't dressed as a pinup lately (or ever). Still, I'm not that butch. I'm actually quite femme. So why does she at a sudden care?

And what's really the problem not being super-feminine? It's not like Armageddon will come right away if I don't wear my white dress with pink polka dots for school tomorrow. Or, maybe... I think we got a new conspiracy made!

I am who I want to be. Feminine as hell, under-the-hat butch, or androgynous as the moon.

My "Gaydar" Isn't Working

There is a myth that all gay people have a "gaydar". Which sucks, because I don't have any. To be honest I have no idea if a person I meet is gay, straight or anything in between. And that really bothers me, because if you were in my shoes I bet you would also think it would be good to know who's gay and who's not.

Maybe I could wish for a gaydar as a birthday present? As long as it's possible (but it probably isn't).

But if I have a gaydar, it certainly isn't working. I'm just guessing on my way through the world. Of course you could say that this femme boy over here's "so gay", but he doesn't have to be. And the next time you see a girl who from the back seems like a guy; She doesn't have to be gay. Both of them might be gay, for sure, but not necessarily.

No, I don't see how people could possibly have a gaydar. Gays are so different that if you don't see them make out with a human of the same sex as them self it's pretty much impossible to say they're gay. And there's the experimental as well, so it's not so easy even with the "make out test".

But if anyone knows where to get a gaydar, please message me. It definitely could be for a use!