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I'm a girl at 15 from Norway. This blog's just for complaining to the world and write about my life. Just so you know. Yeah, and I got some words of wisdom once and a while which may interest you. Enjoy!

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Thoughts Of A Creative Soul

I don't know what to write. Trust me, I'll sure find something to rant about, but this blog isn't for ranting over my thoughts and beliefs. This blog is just for my sorrow, hope and loss into the life of being me. So, now I don't know. Or, it'll come along the way.

Past couple of weeks I've been coming out to several people. It's been easier and better than I expected, though more weird, crazy, hard and more more weird than I could ever imagine. Sounds crazy? I bet you it's been worse than that.

I've told a person I wouldn't imagine telling about my sexuality to. I've heard weird things come out of my teacher's mouth because she didn't know if she was following the rules correctly or not. I've ruined my life to build it up again, all within a few hours. I've been acting, hiding, lying, real, truthful and myself. I've been weird as well as normal, and hating as well as loving. But I've not been hateful.

When I told this person I was never really planning on telling, I was relieved. Then confused. With relief, sadness, anger and disappointment to follow. I think I'll end with disappointment. Because she already knew. She's been reading this blog for quite some time now, and she already knew.

I'm probably exposing this "drama", if I can call it so, too much right now. But I can't get over it. I just can't. Maybe it'll stay with me for the rest of my life, just as a reminder. Hopefully not, but you never know. No, it's not because I'm hurt, but because... No, I don't really know. It'll just stay.

Am I giving everybody some sort of bad guilt right now? Because I don't want to be a blamer. The only thing I want right now is to let everything go away, letting me be alone, and this to be out of the world. Like really, who needs this shit? I don't need this sort of negativity around me, nor within me. But it won't go away.


  1. It irritates me that this "person" just didn't tell you!
    Yes, I Get that she was trying to let you tell her when you were rady, but hello! This was something that was hard for you...

    I Think you are brave :)

  2. I've been bullied for being gay, even though I'm kind of straight, so I know how homophobic some people are.
    Yeah, you're brave. :)

    Are you going to Unge Venstres sommerleir this year, by the way? Just noticed that you're an UVer. :P

  3. Thanks, Rebecca :) What's important is that we all react differently, and since I've known her for a while, I see why she reacted like she did. We just look at it in different ways, and that's a good thing!

    Anonymous: Yeah, people act like crazy... And it's really bad people bully, for whatever reason, but especially when it's about something you can't change (like your sexuality). I think that can make us even more vulnerable, and you get scars for life.
    I'm not going to the summer camp this year (because my family travels far too much), but I might attend next year. But if you wanna talk to me, e-mail me at, or you can message me @Gaysir :) I'm called Angelie ;)