News: I'm Weird

OK, now it's "out of the bag". Or the closet (?). The psychologist is finishing. He got a new job somewhere else (I know I'm not nosy enough to know where, and it kinda irritates me), and he's done by the end of April.

You know what? I'm kinda glad he's getting a new job. Because that means I don't need to be so "obsessed" thinking about when to stop having sessions with him. Still, I told him about the "I wanna leave"-thoughts, and he seemed somewhat worried. Yeah, my life is quite crappy sometimes, but I really don't need him to worry as well as me being afraid of what I'm capable of doing and whatnot.

Well, now right before he's quitting his job, we're sort of speed dating. Or if you ask me, that's the best thing to call it. Put in it whatever you want, but we're just seeing each other rather often right now (because I'm weird and have weird thoughts, and need to talk to somebody about my problems). So, yeah... Need to say no more.

Now (surprise, surprise!), I'm a very weird person today. And I use way too many parentheses in this post... And this is becoming more and more random.

Anyhow, I've been thinking about this with religion and stuff. This winter break, when my brother and I visited our grandparents in their cabin near Trysil, Grandpa said something. "You've already chosen what you believe in," he told me on the way to the airport. Oh, I have? And you're the one to decide so?

Maybe I get why he thinks as he does regarding homosexuality. In his mind your sexuality is something that can be changed (I'm not going to go further on this subject and include the bi's, transsexuals and other queers), and apparently he thinks you can just choose what you want to believe in. Is it so? Can you choose? I don't think you can. You might deny what you believe in, but I don't think you can choose if you got faith and can believe in God or not. Of course people might shift between religions; Religions is so much more than old books and gods. Still, that little thing regarding believing can't be changed. That's what I say.

And who chooses their religion or faith as brutal as he wants it to look like? Sometimes I just feel the situation with him is just hopeless. As if you believe your plant is this close being dead, even though you've done everything to keep it alive. It really irritates me that he thinks he knows everything about me, and that he can say he knows I've chosen when I don't even know it myself. Screw him. Though I bet you it's definitely not easy.

My grandfather is my plant. When am I going to learn that he can't be "saved" from his own hell. He's even decorated the whole thing! Yes, my grandfather is my plant. Or the weed around me. I bet the last.

Relaxing Techniques

Now, take a breath. Relax. Shoulders down, smile with both mouth and eyes. Don't talk too fast. And no hateful comments.

I think I might write this down on post-it's all over my room before Friday so I won't ever forget. Because relaxing methods are important when you're about to spend 72 hours with half of your family surrounded. Especially when you two weeks ago told your mother that you don't think your grandfather deserves your love and caring. At all.

This is a time I'm very glad I get to talk about my problems with a psych that doesn't know me. And when I think about that I have to spend the whole holidays with my grandfather and the rest of my mother's family, I just want to hide under a blanket and stay there. I just don't like them. They've poisoned my life.

Why they're so bad? Because they can't see nor understand that I'm not a Christian. Not so complicated, after all. Or, they do it complicated. Ruining it all. And no, I don't hold anything bad against Christianity. I know a lot of wonderful people that happen to believe in God and Jesus. And I respect my friends, whatever their beliefs, as well as they respect me. So why can't my family just respect me and love me for who I am?

I've asked myself that last question a lot of times. I can't find any good answer, though. So now I've ended up with a "whatever"-attitude. Whatever. I don't care whether they love and respect me or not anymore. But I do care about what they say to me and what they act like. If they act like idiots, I care. I get angry.

So now I'm angry. And confused. But that be. At least I have two great cousins. So I'm going to enjoy next weekend to the fullest with my loving, respecting and fantastic cousins, trying to not get too angry and bitchy around the rest of them.

Take a deep breath.

Holy...!

I've found my right place. In religions, we're now about to learn a lot of cool things. The subject is about new religions. Such as New Age, Google-fantasists, those who believe in aliens plus plus. Believe me, that's awesome!

In religions we usually learn boring stuff about Christianity, Hinduism, Islam, Judaism and that crap. Or it isn't crap, just very boring. But finally, finally the books want to teach us about newer religions and beliefs. Thank you!


This is the faiths I know about for now, but I'll learn about more, trust me:

Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster

Church of Scientology

Unification Church

The Church Of Google


It's not that many, after all. And don't be offended by the Flying Spaghetti Monster, nor the Google thing. Do we have a deal?

Peace & Love, You Know

I've always been fascinated by religion. Even though I don't believe in any God, I think both the history, the traditions and, of course, the beliefs are exciting. There's so much more than just thinking there's something or someone watching over us. But I also find it strange that a very big percent believe in things they've never ever seen or felt in any other way. Especially when major causes where someone says something strange happened, and it can be clarified by science.

No, I'm not against religion or anything. Here where I live, there's a lot of very Christian people. I don't judge. And they're also doing a lot of good stuff to the community. If you want and example, they give children and youth a place to hang out, and teach them a lot of good stuff too.
What I don't like, and I don't care whatever religion the person(s) have, is when he/she/they try to push their religion on others, nor when they judge people. That's just sad.

I've heard a lot of good stories about religious people who survived a rough time with their religion, and that their religion actually saved them from doing horrible things, like taking suicide, do drugs, and others. But I've also heard about cases where religion just made things worse. Everything has several sides. That's just how it is. If we didn't have any religions, we might not have so many wars, but people having a bad time might not get out of it without having anything to rely on and find solace in.

But the big problem, I think, isn't religion, but accepting. If everyone could try to accept each other, things would be so much better. I don't say you should be OK with anything, but as long as it doesn't hurt anyone else, how bad could it be? Acceptance is the key to peace. That's my final thought.

Please, everyone: Accept each other! Give and get, you know, the Golden Rule and all. Have mercy and acceptance, and the world will be a better place.